Leadership Lessons from an Adoption: Stimson’s Sagacity

Expanding our family through an international adoption has shaped our last three years.  The journey began in December 2009 and in March of 2012 we brought two sisters, Meskerem and Tarikua, to Austin from Ethiopia and into our home.  The adventure continues and the expedition has provided poignant lessons; some of them even apply to leadership. 

Stimson’s Sagacity: On April 4^th, 2012 I walked my oldest daughter into Bridge Point Elementary School.  I was feeling guilty.  Since our kids go to public school and Meskerem is my daughter the school could not say ‘no’.  At this point the girls were about six weeks in the States and their vocabulary was only up to about 50 words; this was clearly not going to be your normal ESL situation.  I had my English: Amharic Cheat Sheet prepared for the teachers; they all had my mobile number in hand.  But I still felt remorseful, like I was dumping a decision my wife and I made upon a decidedly non-volunteer army.

I could not have been more wrong about the situation. 

I walked into the main office area to check Meskerem in for the first time and by coincidence most of the school’s leadership team was there, “Meskerem, we have been waiting for you!”  There were five adults in the room and they were bursting with joy.  But it was a unique joy…a joy I did not recall seeing prior to this moment.  I am sure you’ve had moments when you were happy for someone else, “I am so happy you won the business!”  Or you’ve also experienced happiness when someone did something for you, “Wow – that was so nice of you, that makes me so happy!”

But this was different; they were filled with joy based upon the part they were going to play in the restoration of an orphan.  They were getting to do what they were trained to do, what they love to do and see it make an incredible, indelible mark on someone’s life.  It was an inner joy that they could not contain.

Henry Stimson, Secretary of War under President Taft and FDR said, “The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way you can make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him”

People will rise up or sink down to our level of expectation in them.  I am an optimist and believe that the 96% of humanity who are not sociopathic want to work hard and do the right thing.  But there, in that school office on that date in April, I underestimated the staff at my daughter’s school.   I thought I was handing them work; they believed they had been given a gift.

Don’t deny someone the opportunity to do something great.  One great lesson in this adventure is that work is not a four-letter word if someone is convinced that what he or she does makes a difference and they have the opportunity to be proud of their work.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” ― Mark Twain