Friday, November 1, 2013

Leadership Lessons from an Adoption: To Die For

Expanding our family through an international adoption has shaped our last three years.  The journey began in December 2009 and in March of 2012 we brought two sisters, Meskerem and Tarikua, to Austin from Ethiopia and into our home.  The adventure continues and the expedition has provided poignant lessons; some of them even apply to leadership. 

To Die For:  On December 5th, 2011 my wife Brettne and I were at the AWAA Transition Home to meet with our girl’s doctor for the first time.  This home houses children in the process of an international adoption.  The home itself is an oasis; you cannot imagine how difficult it is to maintain a structure in Ethiopia.  Beyond just the home as a haven the staff is amazing; skilled in medicine, therapy, counseling and the greatest of all…love.

We sat with the girls in silence outside the doctor’s office as if waiting for the principal.  A stern looking woman in her late 40’s or early 50’s, white coat, hair pulled back tight and Granny Glasses perched on the tip of her nose walked in crisply.  The girls sat up straight.  The doctor began to mechanically read through the girl’s health report, medications they had been prescribed and results of visits.

As she chirped in a staccato manner I saw her eyes come across something.  She pulled off her glasses allowing them to hang below her neck. Her face broke into a warm smile and her body language moved from professor to mother.  She dropped the report, put both of her hands over her heart and said, “Oh – the girls are Wolaita, as am I; they are my people, my tribe…they are mine!” She started talking to the girls, switching from Amharic, the statutory language of Ethiopia to Wolaytta, the girls tribal language.  I watched the girls physically change at the sound of their language.  The immediate connection was palpable.  I wanted it.  I wanted tribe.

What is a tribe in Western Society?  The Encyclopedia Britannica defines a tribe as “a notional form of human social organization having temporary or permanent political integration, and defined by traditions of common descent, language, culture, and ideology” We don’t have that here.  What must it feel like?  To die for; I think that is how you might describe a tribal feeling.  Your tribe is the people for whom you would willingly die.  Family yes.  Who else?  One of the most famous lines in history is greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

But you say, “Alex – die for our tribe?  Die for those we lead?  What does that have to do with business?  Hang with me for a minute.  I am not in the military and I therefore never risk it all as do the men and women in the armed services.  But there is lesser way you have to be willing to ‘die’.  One of my favorite books is The Book of Five Rings – by Miyamoto Musashi.  It is a book on strategy, tactics, and philosophy that is still studied today.  Through the book Musashi defends his thesis: the one who conquers themselves is ready to take on the world.  My main take away from this book has always been, “Live your life as if you are already dead and you will always take the right risks

Die?  Live as dead?  Five Rings?” The application for us is “Are you willing to be fired?  When you lead you have to be willing to lose your job every day or you will never make the right decisions for the success of the organization and the people under your authority.  Tribe.  We can have it, but only if we are willing to ‘die’ for it.


I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion” – Mia Hamm

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