Expanding our family through an international adoption has
shaped our last three years. The
journey began in December 2009 and in March of 2012 we brought two sisters,
Meskerem and Tarikua, to Austin from Ethiopia and into our home. The adventure continues and the
expedition has provided poignant lessons; some of them even apply to leadership.
To Die For:
On December 5th, 2011 my wife Brettne and
I were at the AWAA
Transition Home to meet with our girl’s doctor for the first time. This home houses children in the
process of an international adoption.
The home itself is an oasis; you cannot imagine how difficult it is to
maintain a structure in Ethiopia.
Beyond just the home as a haven the staff is amazing; skilled in
medicine, therapy, counseling and the greatest of all…love.
We sat with the girls in silence outside the doctor’s office
as if waiting for the principal. A
stern looking woman in her late 40’s or early 50’s, white coat, hair pulled
back tight and Granny
Glasses perched on the tip of her nose walked in crisply. The girls sat up straight. The doctor began to mechanically read
through the girl’s health report, medications they had been prescribed and results
of visits.
As she chirped in a staccato manner I saw her eyes come
across something. She pulled off
her glasses allowing them to hang below her neck. Her face broke into a warm
smile and her body language moved from professor to mother. She dropped the report, put both of her
hands over her heart and said, “Oh – the
girls are Wolaita,
as am I; they are my people, my tribe…they are mine!” She started talking
to the girls, switching from Amharic,
the statutory language of Ethiopia to Wolaytta, the girls tribal
language. I watched the girls
physically change at the sound of their language. The immediate connection was palpable. I wanted it. I wanted tribe.
What is a tribe in Western Society? The Encyclopedia
Britannica defines a tribe as “a
notional form of human social organization having temporary or permanent
political integration, and defined by traditions of common descent, language,
culture, and ideology” We don’t have that here. What must it feel like? To die for; I think that is how you might describe a tribal
feeling. Your tribe is the people
for whom you would willingly die. Family
yes. Who else? One of the most famous lines in history
is greater
love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
But you say, “Alex –
die for our tribe? Die for those
we lead? What does that have to do
with business?” Hang with me
for a minute. I am not in the
military and I therefore never risk it all as do the men and women in the armed
services. But there is lesser way
you have to be willing to ‘die’.
One of my favorite books is The Book of Five
Rings – by Miyamoto
Musashi. It is a book on
strategy, tactics, and philosophy that is still studied today. Through the book Musashi defends his
thesis: the one who conquers themselves is ready to take on the world. My main take away from this book has
always been, “Live your life as if you
are already dead and you will always take the right risks”
“Die? Live as dead? Five Rings?” The application for us is “Are you willing to be fired?” When you lead you have to be willing to
lose your job every day or you will never make the right decisions for the
success of the organization and the people under your authority. Tribe. We can have it, but only if we are willing to ‘die’ for it.
“I am a member of a
team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the
team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion” – Mia Hamm
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